Humble Dad

Witnessed my dad die this past Saturday and thank the Lord for the 12 steps and my myriad of meetings. Practicing humility when in such circumstances would have been impossible at one time and the results would have meant more pain added to a painful situation.

Since dad arrived at the veteran's hospital I have watched humility in action many times. Many times dad would wait while others were attended to, often requiring assistance for far greater reasons than those being helped. Dad knew humility was patient! When a special nurse would visit right in the middle of his family visit, to clean open wounds on his heals (open to the bone for the last year), he would allow her to do so even when given the chance to put it off: he would accept the pain and come back to his family as soon as possible. Dad would allow everyone to do their job even at his own expense. Dad knew humility was painful and required decision. As dad went down hill he would laugh at his lack of ability in any area-literally laugh as he could not get up. Dad knew humility could be humorous! A serious error was made by a nurse that resulted in dad losing his ability to walk. He did not complain. Dad knew humility did not waste time on blaming or shamingg. Dad knew humility thrived on acceptance. Love which conquers all was always there but never made to look showy. When visits were too short and the loved ones would leave, dad would do all to conceal the tear (his own) that would hurt someone. dad did know love as only humility can. Only to thank him for his gift of character would I have him return. Love ya Dad!

So on Sunday we will lay dad to rest with his fallen comrades in the National Field Of Honour in Pointe Claire Quebec see www.lastpostfund.ca

So humbly we get ready to address our list (refine and address that is) of persons we have harmed as we get ready to do the work to become willing!! STEP 8 is close by!

Who do I depend on?

The Serenity Program says in a sharing on Step 7:

"Perhaps the most serious challenge we confront in day to day recovery is that long established pattern of destructive reliance on people and things to function as gods in our lives. Each day we choose who will be Lord in our lives. Will our direction come from the dictates of our old false dependencies, or will it come from God??

Who should I trust?

I often wonder in my own life why I wait to use prayer only when things get severe. When something is missing for example, how long do I wait before prayerfully asking for help? How much pride and ego are involved?

Do I give the reins of my life to anyone by having expectations of them or by having expectations of outcomes to situations in their lives? Whose recovery am I working on now? Whose shortcoming am I working on? Herein lies the subtle nature of control once again. How well can I truly mind my own business? Do I disguise this by letting myself call it love or care for someone?

So with humility as with most anything worth pursuing, there can be a measure of pain and the decision must always be (for me), will I give it to God and believe that the outcome will be right or do I keep on interfering with someone else's life/recovery?

PRAY STEP 7 HUMBLY+MEANINGFULLY!

Why will God answer this prayer of shortcoming removal? Because He wants us pure and valuable (at least that is the way it looks in scripture to me). See 1 John 5:14-15 . What worshipful god would not express this for his/her followers? www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+5:14-15

Two way prayer today reveals help for me in Step 7. These thoughts came!
-Pray your way through the day today! (ask again and again if you are serious about the removal of problems and anticipate the positive answer because you are in line with God's will, the way you understand it anyway). "Dear God please take away my shortcomings"-how hard was that?
-Stay in the moment and be thankful for it, breath it in Scott, it is a gift from God and yours to savour. As long as you are here in the moment, you are present with Me. (feelings of don't fit do not mean NO FIT. I always fit with God in the moment)
-Life is effortless to the degree I surrender it to God. What is it that I am really not willfully letting go of? What will I still keep to control by myself? Whatever it is, it will keep me stuck!!

Please notice as I work the steps I often refer to scripture. I use several references when digging for answers and the ones that impact me the most, are what I bring to the blog.

Helpful to me:
Back To Basics www.aabacktobasics.com
The Life Recovery Bible http://www.amazon.com/Life-Recovery-Bible-NLT/dp/084233341X
Serenity-A Companion for 12 Step recovery http://www.amazon.com/Serenity-Companion-Twelve-Step-Recovery/dp/0840715420

I also follow material from an anonymous 12 step program that I belong to. However, I will not mention the names of these publications due to the anonymity of fellow members in the program. This is extremely important and hurting people must know that their anonymity is protected at all times. You will notice that should you make comments on any sharing on this blog, you can do so anonymously for your protection (you will see a pop up window guiding you when you click on the comments at the bottom of the posting)

Pride born of hurt

Many of us may have grown up where we were constantly ignored or disappointed. Our needs were simply not met. Maybe we became self-sufficient, determined never to ask or need any one's help ever again. This pride born of hurt keeps us to varying degrees from God's help (we simply do not ask for it because of thoughts like "I should be able to do such and such on my own"). The simple awareness of this prideful effort, so honestly come by, may well dissolve the problem.

I believe God wants in, on all the little problems as well as the large. Besides the more discussing I do with God, the greater our relationship and the stronger my sense of it.

I will explore with God in my next two-way prayer session the depth of this problem in my own life; I want to determine a solution to my holding back in this type of asking (for any and every small need as well as the huge). To be humble and do the 7th step to my utmost, I must do this.

Check the following for more info: www.sharingtheburden.ca
http://twitter.com/sharingburdenwww.SharingTheBurden.ca
www.aabacktobasics.com

His will?

For those who believe in scripture, we are told in 1John 5:14-15 that God will give us anything we ask for as long as it is in line with His will.

His will is about service not selfishness; I must always look at my motivation when trying to change something in me or in the case of step7, trying to get rid of something I do not want anymore. Is the real request valid in that God or someone other than me will be positively affected by the outcome? More than likely, at the root, if I will look that deep, I will find selfishness, because if this thing is granted, even though THE REQUEST may NOT BE for me personally, I will be positively affected, something will happen to me (happier, less worry, wealthier etc etc). God sees the truth and its root and that is where the real deal is done. So Scott, any so called defect that remains, may require some serious digging as to what the real benefits would/could be and who would receive the greatest of these if this problem were removed? IS MY REQUEST IN LINE WITH GOD'S WILL? And of course only God knows whether my lot in life is possible without this thing I do not want!

Humble children of God

As a child of God, how well do I accept God's discipline?
Do I see unfavorable happenings as from other than God, or do I believe in an all-powerful God who oversees all and allows a perfecting process (designed by Him) to groom me for eternity.

Spiritual humility has my eyes down as I stand before or address my God, yet it has me standing tall on His behalf (not show-off tall but sturdy, committed and sincere).

Scripture teaches that the undisciplined person is as the illegitimate child and not really God's child after all.

Do you want, really want the comfortable, nice, uninterrupted lifestyle?? Well there seems to be an answer for the believer at least-something along the line that obedience has its rewards which may in part at least be some of this lifestyle that so many exist for!! See Hebrews 12: 7-12. Check out this link for commentary and reference http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=65&chapter=12&version=51

LEARN ABOUT 2-WAY PRAYER
SEE WWW.SHARINGTHEBURDEN.CA FOR HANDS ON PRAYER COUNSELLING WITH 2-WAY PRAYER
WWW.AABACKTOBASICS.COM FOR INFO ON THIS TYPE OF PRAYER AND HOW IT WAS USED BY A FOUNDER OF THE 12 STEP PHILOSOPHY

I measure my degree of humility as being directly proportional to what I am able to LET GO of. Whatever I cling to represents that which controls me, and that is NOT OF GOD, in other words what I will handle on my own and will not totally surrender to God. I am healthy and free, available, valuable and effective to the degree I am UNATTACHED; to that degree God will be in charge of my life and to that degree only will I be humble.

Humility (step 7) is so crucial to recovery!!

Take Step 7 today!

This step is really simply a prayer:
let's use AA's prayer to take this step and then we will talk humility some more. I would likely use the words "My Lord God" instead of Creator (Scott's preference as a Christian). I mention this so that you know to pray to someone, something because prayer is the answer. I believe if you seek and hunger to know God, you will get spiritually connected!

LET US TAKE THE STEP TOGETHER:

'...MY CREATOR, I AM NOW WILLING THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ALL OF ME, GOOD AND BAD. I PRAY THAT YOU NOW REMOVE EVERY SINGLE DEFECT OF CHARACTER WHICH STANDS IN THE WAY OF MY USEFULNESS TO YOU AND MY FELLOWS. GRANT ME STRENGTH AS I GO OUT FROM HERE, TO DO YOUR BIDDING. AMEN."
If you have prayed the above prayer, congratulations, you have taken step 7!

see www.backtobasics.com for the reference to AA's big book regarding the taking of this step

Why or how to be humble?
-so I can recognize the severity of my character defects
-to acknowledge human limitations in addressing these problems
-to appreciate God's power to transform lives

Step 7 Humbly asked the Power (God) to remove our shortcomings!

A humbling thought to ponder for me is that, to be humble and approach God in this step, I must completely surrender the leadership of my life to God (Power greater than myself). Whatever I hold back and keep control of for me, will likely result in my being left with a problem I have asked to be removed. No clinging or attaching; then and only then do I glimpse FREEDOM!