Loneliness and isolation seem to accompany guilt and shame. Guilt, fear of being hurt or rejected can keep us from accepting the love others have for us. Being willing to accept their love is part of the preparation for making amends. I ended up in scripture, as usual, trying to unravel this stuff in my own life and found help in the Life Recovery Bible (NLT) where the commentator spoke of overcoming loneliness to properly complete step 8 and referred to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 where the practical alliance of 2 or more clearly makes more sense e.g. two can keep warm, 2 back to back make a strong defence, 3 are even better just as a triple-braided cord is so strong.
So maybe a good way to pray my way through this step is to ask for the willingness to accept love, help and companionship in the simple knowledge that this wisdom is not only from the Good Book but is very practical advice for anyone.
Another point regarding love from scripture points out that all the greatest deeds if not properly motivated, that is by unconditional love, are useless. The codependent type love attached to addiction generally falls in to this category. Our enabling ways are rarely love-motivated and are usually initiated to gain a false sense of control and momentary relief. Taking the steps and deciding to make decisions truly based on love for the sick person and ourselves (also sick), will often change the direction of a life (especially our own). I find being honest with myself about what motivates me to do things, dramatically improves the way I feel about me (esteem). To make real amends, the motivation must be more than making me feel better. Loving each and every person and sincerely wanting the best for each of them must be at the centre of any true amend, for me anyway. I must take these preparatory steps to strengthen and steady me for the process. I feel I must be humble yet sturdy in my amending journey.
``Dear Lord, please fill me with unconditional love that I may add something of value to those I must make amends to!``
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