Winding up 10th step work for the month (not stopping to use it regularly though) and glancing through a text called "Paths To Recovery, Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions and Concepts". At the end of the 10th step section there is a number of questions used to help steppers dig a little deeper into their working of the step. This one caught my eye today-"How did I take on anyone else's responsibility today?" I thought of some more questions I need to ask myself before action involving others eg
-have I repeated anything more than once to anyone of legal age and sound mind?
-did I offer advice/suggestions to anyone who did not ask me for it?
-did I pray today rather than step in and give my two cents worth?
-did I at least pray for help before I opened my mouth?
-did I speak to anyone while I felt emotional?
-did I take a moment today to see where I was that I might remember to stay in the moment?
-did I often say to myself Scott are you doing what you are doing just for the sake of doing it rather than to get to the next thing?
-did I focus on anyone in particular and what was my motivation?
"Please Lord, guide us to take inventory of our moments that we may move into the next step of our walk with confidence as we learn to practise prayer and meditation to improve our contact with You!" Amen
CONGRATS AND ONTO STEP 11
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Honour of Service
We often speak of service and its value in recovery. We learn from the earliest 12 step co-founder Dr Bob, that only in reaching out in a wounded state could an addicted person truly gain fast and complete recovery. Personally I find this true for all 12 step recovery and when it is my turn to report and I am able to comply, the rewards are immeasurable.Another 12 stepper and I went into a detention centre a couple hours ago as part of our service commitment to a particular fellowship we both belong to. Our job as usual was to solicit inmates at their ranges to come out into an inactive larger cell with us and have a 12 step meeting. Tonight 4 fellows from 2 different ranges joined us for a meeting. All 6 of us, I believe anyway, felt a little sluggish and not particularly motivated for this meeting of folks from a variety of backgrounds, a couple of whom indicated they would be inside very likely for a longtime.
Well we did our usual intro to our specific 12 step program, shared on some common slogans and went onto a topic that in reality amounted to "where am I in life and how did I get here; and there is hope" One can imagine how it could have gone!
My point is simple-50 minutes later there were 6 lifted people who had shared intimately and were united on a Spiritual level that could only have come about so quickly within the confines of the 12 step philosophy. We truly shared our burdens from the heart and we left changed people with hope for whatever was to come. The privilege to serve pays dividends beyond words and material and I thank my God for the honour of my small part!
A special thank you to my partner tonight. You know who you are-Thanks F!
Scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Prep for Step 11
Nine steps and the recap step 10 all leading to the all important step of Spiritual Relationship building through prayer and meditation-Step 11
I used to think that I was always doing Step 11 because I wanted the Spiritual aspects of everything so powerfully NOW. I see clearly now that I was lacking some of the humility that steps 4 thru 9 teach so well. As a result I was usually fogged with issues that were playing currently into all that went on in my mind. This dictated partly anyway how I was going to be affected emotionally by life as it would happen to me. Step 10 would have kept the issues outside of me by instantly expressing and later resolving , had I been doing it regularly. My lesson:regularly and systematically taking the 12 steps, while keeping current with Step 10 is the best way for me to be valuable and available to both God and my fellows. With steady hard work we can stop the loading of baggage and begin the process of unloading that which we took a lifetime to accumulate.
TAKE THE 12 STEPS TO FREEDOM:
12 Steps to Spiritual Recovery!
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
12 Step Format Review-Sharing The Burden
Step 10-Do It Now-Keep the emotion outside of us by expressing it immediately and resolving the core issues when CALM is in place!
Thought it time to recap what we are doing on this blog.
First of all, we believe that the 12 step philosophy is beneficial to everyone and that qualification can sometimes be a stumbling block, preventing the needy from getting the Spiritual help that may be her/his only answer.
We especially focus on the following question and answer: question-"Does It Feel Like Someone Else's Behaviour Is Draining You Of Life?" and answer-"Take The 12 Steps To Freedom! Heal Grow And recover!"
-Each month we take the step that corresponds with the month eg Oct is 10th month therefore Step 10.
-We bring sharing experiences picked up at various 12 step meetings and simply discuss in general (always protecting the basis of all 12 step recovery namely ANONYMITY) how those experiences affect us emotionally.
-At least once a month we discuss a Tradition (Traditions were designed by the original 12 step programs AA and Al-Anon to help groups interact, grow and maintain some consistency all around the globe). Many of us find that at some point the traditions teach us as much as the steps to recovery, especially where relationships are concerned. They provide a simple framework (not rules) under which the fellowship, its areas, groups and individuals can get along and welcome the Spiritual help that the program can and does provide to those of us who work it.
We refer to several areas for reference and help:
Serenity a Companion For Twelve Step Recovery by Robert Hemfelt+Richard Fowler
The Bible
Al-Anon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous http://www.aa.org/
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
http://www.sharingtheburden.ca/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
http://www.sharingtheburden.ca/
-
Monday, October 26, 2009
10 in my FACE
How to keep Step 10 upfront!
I have received so much this month from step 10 exploration that I really want to make sure I have something in place that will keep me working at it day to day. I want to be current in my development and present to the moment as much as is possible!
-Reminder on the Google Calendar can be set up to send me an email daily at a redetermined time to remind me to LOOK AT ME.
-I will keep blank copies of the Back To Basics Step 10 worksheets in my briefcase and around the house.
-I will ask myself each day before bed-today was I HONEST, PURE, UNSELFISH and LOVING in all my affairs and did I get emotional about anything? The answers to these will provide clues to required action.
Most importantly I will pray "Thank You Lord for the growth from step 10 work this month! Please guide me to take the steps to remain current in life by doing this 10th step as often as possible."
www.aabacktobasics.com
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
12 Steps to Spiritual Recovery!
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
I have received so much this month from step 10 exploration that I really want to make sure I have something in place that will keep me working at it day to day. I want to be current in my development and present to the moment as much as is possible!
-Reminder on the Google Calendar can be set up to send me an email daily at a redetermined time to remind me to LOOK AT ME.
-I will keep blank copies of the Back To Basics Step 10 worksheets in my briefcase and around the house.
-I will ask myself each day before bed-today was I HONEST, PURE, UNSELFISH and LOVING in all my affairs and did I get emotional about anything? The answers to these will provide clues to required action.
Most importantly I will pray "Thank You Lord for the growth from step 10 work this month! Please guide me to take the steps to remain current in life by doing this 10th step as often as possible."
www.aabacktobasics.com
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
12 Steps to Spiritual Recovery!
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thank You for my presence! STEP 10
My presence-how much attention do I pay to it?
Step 10-continuing to look at me and repairing as I go astray-the secret being DO IT NOW!
Walking this morning, purposefully paying attention to everything (staying in the NOW), was so rewarding.
Fall colours and a late display of violet, red and rose in the wild shrubbery of late summer brought me spiritually and emotionally to my knees. What an awesome display of God's glory and all in the moment.
Often times I would rush this morning walk to get to the so-called productive part of the day-you know business items and commercial growth. Well the fact is that I can have this wonder in every moment that I stay in. This symphony of life cannot be boring or wasted or unprofitable! And NOW is eternal, there never IS a yesterday or a tomorrow, they always WERE or WILL BE. Energy is only required to try to escape the moment which is IMPOSSIBLE. Sheer foolishnesss, this effort to escape life's NOW in favour of a comparison to yesterday or a contrivance for tomorrow that can never be. IT IS ALWAYS NOW SO I WILL STAY HERE TO MY UTMOST FOREVER!
So only this moment exists and I will make it as comfortable as possible by being current in all my affairs. Live my life and amend as I go.
Slow down, see, breath and actually experience-this is it!! Stay awake, the blessing is HERE NOW. Step 10 is my conscience for all this. I believe to the degree I stay current in my life by working step 10; to that degree I can live in the moment.
Where are you right now??
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
How long does the perfect moment last?
Well that's the only kind of moment the Lord made so does it matter?Much more stuff for later-scripture references and anniversary speaker revealings......later!
Heading for a meeting NOW
Monday, October 19, 2009
Step 10 CRUCIAL for our kids
I attended a conference on the weekend for young people affected by abusive drinking (NOT THEIR OWN DRINKING)-kids from 11-20 years old-usually growing up with problem drinkers for parents.
These young people spoke with HOPE and were there to tell there stories. My message here is that many teens will never be exposed and saved from destruction (suicide) unless we who have survived can get to them and tell them our stories of survival. This is what the 12 steps can do and it is often the last chance for these kids. They have been through all kinds of therapy and in many cases had given up. WHO, UNLESS HE/SHE HAD BEEN THERE AND SURVIVED COULD SAY ANYTHING, AT THIS POINT, TO PROVIDE HOPE. This is what 12 step recovery is all about. If anyone anywhere knows of young people in this situation, please don't walk away-you may be the last hope!! DO IT NOW is my step 10 theme for this 10th Month of 2009. DO IT NOW and help Share The Burden that many of our youth will miss if they do not find the Spiritual Hope that the 12 steps can provide. If you have friends family, anyone you know who is involved with any kind of recovery, please get this message to them. THE 12 steps can help these kids and we can direct them on the path...
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Early Saturday Pray+Write
Morning quiet time had me praying+writing as I was taught in Back To Basics program wwww.aabacktobasics.com; seemed I was compelled to go back to the beginning of step 10 in the Recovery Bible as well as in the Serenity Program-following are some of my notes as thoughts came to me in this session:-the cornerstone of the modern day church-Peter, denied his God three times in minutes, so who is beyond the power of fear and not able to slip back??? So beware keep the program in your face Scott and as Step 10 teaches, stay current and DO IT NOW whatever needs attention
Even if exhausted, fight to pray for help Mark 14;38 says "Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you. For though the spirit is willing the body is weak" Therefore Scott-stay current-inventory and repair, inventory and re-prayer, inventory and re-prayer..............
Honesty in commitments often requires the boundary of PHYSICAL DETACHMENT, at least for a season of healing....
Thursday, October 15, 2009
What's It Worth this 10th step on and on and on?
OK so Step 10 keeps us in the game every day as long as we look at ourselves every day and amend situations as they occur (CONTINUED to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it).
Seems like a large request! Take a look at me every day? Let's ask ourselves this question: "How much of my available time am I willing to spend on my Spiritual/emotional condition?" and this one: "How much of my discomfort in life would I say falls into the area of the Spiritual or emotional?" "What would my life look like if challenges in these areas were lessened or removed?" "How much will I pay in time and effort to seek the peace and freedom that could be mine?"
I think Step 10 is the key to all of this for me. If I am reminded day by day to seek God's help in my examination of me and then make the effort to stay current in my responsibilities and relationships, I will be more effective and and available to reach out and be of value to another.
If I think in terms of how I would like to think of myself at the end of the day, I find that the worldly goals of power, property, prestige, self-seeking (motivated by making myself feel good) and self-centredness, pale dramatically in comparison to the goal of reaching out in my own wounded condition to be of service in the spiritual/emotional battles of others. This is what I mean by Sharing The Burden while taking the 12 steps to Freedom myself. If I share with you, you share with someone else and so on and so on...........
Here is another tidbit that Back To Basics 12 step teaching www.aabacktobasics.com has given me to prevent many problems. I ask myself "Is this thing you are going to do or say SELFISH, DISHONEST, SELF-SEEKING OR FEAR-BASED?" IF SO, IT IS NOT GOD'S WILL BUT YOURS SCOTT. GO NO FURTHER! If on the other hand it is UNSELFISH, HONEST, PURE OR LOVING, then God would likely be pleased (asking in prayer for confirmation is also the key here).
The Life Recovery Bible in Step 10 teaching refers to 2 Timothy 2: 1-8 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+2&version=NIV where Paul speaks of attending to our Spiritual life as a soldier fighting to the end for victory; or like an athlete we must train for spiritual wellness. Finally as a farmer we must work every season patiently because if we relax our efforts before the end , we may lose everything......
Seems like a large request! Take a look at me every day? Let's ask ourselves this question: "How much of my available time am I willing to spend on my Spiritual/emotional condition?" and this one: "How much of my discomfort in life would I say falls into the area of the Spiritual or emotional?" "What would my life look like if challenges in these areas were lessened or removed?" "How much will I pay in time and effort to seek the peace and freedom that could be mine?"
I think Step 10 is the key to all of this for me. If I am reminded day by day to seek God's help in my examination of me and then make the effort to stay current in my responsibilities and relationships, I will be more effective and and available to reach out and be of value to another.
If I think in terms of how I would like to think of myself at the end of the day, I find that the worldly goals of power, property, prestige, self-seeking (motivated by making myself feel good) and self-centredness, pale dramatically in comparison to the goal of reaching out in my own wounded condition to be of service in the spiritual/emotional battles of others. This is what I mean by Sharing The Burden while taking the 12 steps to Freedom myself. If I share with you, you share with someone else and so on and so on...........
Here is another tidbit that Back To Basics 12 step teaching www.aabacktobasics.com has given me to prevent many problems. I ask myself "Is this thing you are going to do or say SELFISH, DISHONEST, SELF-SEEKING OR FEAR-BASED?" IF SO, IT IS NOT GOD'S WILL BUT YOURS SCOTT. GO NO FURTHER! If on the other hand it is UNSELFISH, HONEST, PURE OR LOVING, then God would likely be pleased (asking in prayer for confirmation is also the key here).
The Life Recovery Bible in Step 10 teaching refers to 2 Timothy 2: 1-8 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+2&version=NIV where Paul speaks of attending to our Spiritual life as a soldier fighting to the end for victory; or like an athlete we must train for spiritual wellness. Finally as a farmer we must work every season patiently because if we relax our efforts before the end , we may lose everything......
Monday, October 12, 2009
Working The step?
A friend asked today what do you mean by "working the step"?
My answer:
Let's take this month's Step 10
1-Prayer-something like "Lord please guide me tonight in my work with Step 10, may I see your will for me today with clarity!
2-I then read related literature for Step 10, starting with how to take the step http://www.aabacktobasics.com/ and scriptural commentaries from, Serenity A Companion for 12 Step Recovery or The Life Recovery Bible-NLT. Sometimes I will answer a question or two from Al-Anon's excellent book called Paths To Recovery. Every step, tradition and concept has a comprehensive section of questions which , in my case anyway, bring the life application of the topic (step tradition or concept) into my personal life circumstances.
3-I then take the step as taught in the Back To Basics format.
4-I share my experiences both one on one with program friends and in in discussion meetings. Sharing both my burdens and successes has always been the catalyst for further growth as long as I was reaching out to others in my life in some sort of service at the same time.
VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER-DOING IT-IS THE KEY, NOT SO MUCH HOW! WE CAN DO IT OVER AND OVER ONLY IF WE DO IT!! DO IT NOW!
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
My answer:
Let's take this month's Step 10
1-Prayer-something like "Lord please guide me tonight in my work with Step 10, may I see your will for me today with clarity!
2-I then read related literature for Step 10, starting with how to take the step http://www.aabacktobasics.com/ and scriptural commentaries from, Serenity A Companion for 12 Step Recovery or The Life Recovery Bible-NLT. Sometimes I will answer a question or two from Al-Anon's excellent book called Paths To Recovery. Every step, tradition and concept has a comprehensive section of questions which , in my case anyway, bring the life application of the topic (step tradition or concept) into my personal life circumstances.
3-I then take the step as taught in the Back To Basics format.
4-I share my experiences both one on one with program friends and in in discussion meetings. Sharing both my burdens and successes has always been the catalyst for further growth as long as I was reaching out to others in my life in some sort of service at the same time.
VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER-DOING IT-IS THE KEY, NOT SO MUCH HOW! WE CAN DO IT OVER AND OVER ONLY IF WE DO IT!! DO IT NOW!
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Saturday, October 10, 2009
STEP 10 "DO IT NOW"
In sharing at a 12 step meeting this morning, the strongest thought that came to me while listening to others and taking notes was "Do It Now"
.
I was reminded of an exercise I was told to do as a consequence of not having something prepared in time for school. the teacher had me write out 100's of lines with the following text "Procrastination is the Thief of Time". I was to explain what it meant and write it out 200 times. I have never forgotten the lesson.
Today Step 10 says Scott, when you become emotional in any negative respect, something needs attention and it it needs it NOW! If I do not apply the teachings at this point, the emotion will do its thing on the inside of me. Internalized, this feeling or thought will become a part of the processing of Scott's stuff. So, one more negative aspect to help process whatever comes at me from there on. Scary huh?
Now, as we have said in earlier sharing, when there is emotion , EXPRESSION must follow immediately in order to offset this internalizing. We are not saying here that the issue must be immediately resolved but rather that, through expression, the emotion can be kept from doing internal damage. Resolution, understanding and education etc can happen at a later time.
So, what application of this is there today in a life? Well, as you probably know from previous sharing or photos like the one here (Bud and me), I love animals, and have a special place for the dog (the only perfecter of unconditional love outside heaven, I believe anyway).
One of these creatures who lives with us here on the farm property has reached the age where life is somewhat out of control and so with love and terrible heartache its owners will have Tessa put down Tues after the Thanksgiving weekend is over. My sadness left inside to ruminate will cause damage to me that is unhealthy. So I share it with whoever reads this blog today for starters and I am doing that NOW, probably an hour after I heard about this. Secondly I will go tomorrow and Monday and spend a little special time with my friend Tessa and lend my support and encouragement to her owners. These thoughts and sharing them with you, has already lightened the load for me. The further action I've mentioned along with several prayers for Tessa and her friends will complete my expression of this emotion! I will remain free!
Thank You Lord for having me express my concern NOW!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
.I was reminded of an exercise I was told to do as a consequence of not having something prepared in time for school. the teacher had me write out 100's of lines with the following text "Procrastination is the Thief of Time". I was to explain what it meant and write it out 200 times. I have never forgotten the lesson.
Today Step 10 says Scott, when you become emotional in any negative respect, something needs attention and it it needs it NOW! If I do not apply the teachings at this point, the emotion will do its thing on the inside of me. Internalized, this feeling or thought will become a part of the processing of Scott's stuff. So, one more negative aspect to help process whatever comes at me from there on. Scary huh?
Now, as we have said in earlier sharing, when there is emotion , EXPRESSION must follow immediately in order to offset this internalizing. We are not saying here that the issue must be immediately resolved but rather that, through expression, the emotion can be kept from doing internal damage. Resolution, understanding and education etc can happen at a later time.
So, what application of this is there today in a life? Well, as you probably know from previous sharing or photos like the one here (Bud and me), I love animals, and have a special place for the dog (the only perfecter of unconditional love outside heaven, I believe anyway).
One of these creatures who lives with us here on the farm property has reached the age where life is somewhat out of control and so with love and terrible heartache its owners will have Tessa put down Tues after the Thanksgiving weekend is over. My sadness left inside to ruminate will cause damage to me that is unhealthy. So I share it with whoever reads this blog today for starters and I am doing that NOW, probably an hour after I heard about this. Secondly I will go tomorrow and Monday and spend a little special time with my friend Tessa and lend my support and encouragement to her owners. These thoughts and sharing them with you, has already lightened the load for me. The further action I've mentioned along with several prayers for Tessa and her friends will complete my expression of this emotion! I will remain free!
Thank You Lord for having me express my concern NOW!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
Monday, October 5, 2009
Recurrent "ISMS" relapse?
Confession, agreeing with God that something is wrongCommentator in the Life Recovery Bible says this means that we need to recognize our wrongs when they occur; the author says we are continually cleansed of our mistakes as long as we are trying to change or turn away from our troubled ways. We have spent a lifetime developing our ways and God knows exactly how many times we must fail an attempt toward changing, before we are really able to have a defect removed from our being. God does not get angry because we fail (its all part of the plan I believe-how else can I believe that I am powerless and God rules all-are we not taught taught in Scripture that our entire path and all of its intricacies were known in their entirety before the beginning of time. I can be defeated only by forgetting this and taking CONTROL, which is impossible anyway). Step Ten keeps us current and our part is just to keep on going in awareness that we are not, nor ever will be unflawed. Ours is to keep going in the knowledge that we do our "days doing" no matter what we feel like. For me the key is focus-stay current and reach out to someone someway.
Interesting thoughts in http://www.aabacktobasics.com/ where we are reminded that by the time we arrive at step 10, we have been spiritually awakened already, how else could a newcomer have gotten through the other nine steps without a belief and reliance upon the Power to get through the inventory and restitution process? He says again quoting from from the big book of aa that we must continue to watch for selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear, asking God to remove these as soon as we recognize them. We then make amends if necessary and we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. REMOVAL OF SELF-CENTRED BEHAVIOURS WAS RECOGNIZED AS THE PRIORITY-Look after ourselves but never at the expense of extending the hand of help to someone else in need. Wow! And we wonder why the program worked so well and so quickly in the beginning. Humbly reaching out as the "wounded healer". The call above feelings!!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Do we really change Step 10?
Fundamentally i doubt if we really do change. I see improved handling of situations and some far better habits; yet triggers can bring back the feelings of yester-year in a heartbeat. Today, the what-to-do-about-it, is known and often habitual, as long as my program for life is in my face and i am living its principles. I must be working the program (prayer, steps, reaching out, meetings) every day to be prepared for the downturn. So i am a better coper by far; but am i really a new person as scripture says of the believer? Is a new person someone who acts differently because of programming and smarter intake of info (boundaries etc)? Have I changed fundamentally or can I slip back to the same or worse than before, but for the grace of God? How much power do i really have and do i have the faith to stand on the Word of God when up against the wall; will I take scripture literally when my life feels endangered or will I do as animal instinct tells me and strike out or flee?? Large questions for me, however, I know that whether i have changed fundamentally or not, I am far wiser than initially and cope far better than pre-12 step ( codependent living-hide, bury, drink, manipulate, fix, act, put-down, put off, offer advice to improve your life etc etc). So changed or not at the root, we can leave the answer to God, the only person I believe Who really knows.
Step 10 gives me the best shot at getting to the bottom or deepest possible level of understanding! If my energy is not wasted on "what if" or "maybe tomorrow", it can go to processing the moment NOW, in the purest possible fashion. As a free man living current, life is reasonable in all areas! This represents a balance in existence for this stepper anyway!
Step 10 is the KEEP-ON-TRACK step and the one that will go the furthest to creating on-going healthy relationships-current and up-to-date (so Scott believes anyway)!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Step 10 gives me the best shot at getting to the bottom or deepest possible level of understanding! If my energy is not wasted on "what if" or "maybe tomorrow", it can go to processing the moment NOW, in the purest possible fashion. As a free man living current, life is reasonable in all areas! This represents a balance in existence for this stepper anyway!
Step 10 is the KEEP-ON-TRACK step and the one that will go the furthest to creating on-going healthy relationships-current and up-to-date (so Scott believes anyway)!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Expression is the key
Sometimes I feel that a stall happens when we get emotional about a happening or a relationship incidence and mull over it or ruminate. The what ifs, coulda's and shoulda's start and maybe it becomes easier to forget or bury. Maybe your traditional sharing partner or sponsor is the problem and in your head this is a big deal!
In my life I have found that emotion requires expression NOW. So to move on I must share my feelings immediately and if a particular type of amend or boundary issue needs attention it can wait till I have been able to calmly reason things out with a trusted person. The quick sharing of feelings often is all that was required. Simple but powerful! UNEXPRESSED feelings do their stuff on the inside. My sense is that every thought/feeling does its work regardless, so I prefer to have it done outside of me rather than inside where I cannot begin to trace the effects or work on the damage it might do over time. Expression represents freedom to me and the honest flow-through of experience is possible only to the degree that I am free. I am of little value to myself or anyone if I have internalized rather than expressed!! The flow of emotional experience is IMPORTANT! Don't dam any of it up-it can have a cumulative affect that will create distorted expression and the truth gets lost or warped in the process.
SO EXPRESS IT NOW AND RESOLVE IT APPROPRIATELY WITHOUT THE EMOTION!
Check out the CLAIMS of 12 steppers below. In my life step 10 keeps these happening!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Step 10 is about currency in life and FREEDOM!
12 Steps to Spiritual Recovery!
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
In my life I have found that emotion requires expression NOW. So to move on I must share my feelings immediately and if a particular type of amend or boundary issue needs attention it can wait till I have been able to calmly reason things out with a trusted person. The quick sharing of feelings often is all that was required. Simple but powerful! UNEXPRESSED feelings do their stuff on the inside. My sense is that every thought/feeling does its work regardless, so I prefer to have it done outside of me rather than inside where I cannot begin to trace the effects or work on the damage it might do over time. Expression represents freedom to me and the honest flow-through of experience is possible only to the degree that I am free. I am of little value to myself or anyone if I have internalized rather than expressed!! The flow of emotional experience is IMPORTANT! Don't dam any of it up-it can have a cumulative affect that will create distorted expression and the truth gets lost or warped in the process.
SO EXPRESS IT NOW AND RESOLVE IT APPROPRIATELY WITHOUT THE EMOTION!
Check out the CLAIMS of 12 steppers below. In my life step 10 keeps these happening!
scott@SharingTheBurden.ca
http://sharingtheburden.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/sharingburden
www.SharingTheBurden.ca
Step 10 is about currency in life and FREEDOM!
12 Steps to Spiritual Recovery!
1- We admitted we were powerless over others-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Power.
4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5- Admitted to this Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6- Were entirely ready to have this Power remove all these defects of character.
7- Humbly asked the Power to remove our shortcomings.
8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with this Power, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Many 12 step programs use the word God where we have written Power)
Various Claims of Promise from 12 Steppers
1-We will find ourselves worthy of love and able to love others. We will not lose ourselves.
2-Courage and fellowship will replace fear.
3-Our lives will yield hope to share with others.
4-We will come to know the vastness of our emotions without being in slavery to them.
5-Learning to forgive, we will no longer be bound by our secrets to live in shame.
6-Serenity and peace will have meaning for us.
7-We will allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with spiritual ease, balance and grace.
8-Attitude and outlook will be renewed.
9-Intuition will guide us to handle situations that were impossible in the past.
10-We will not regret the past recognizing its value for other sufferers.
11-Selfish interests will fall away as we gain interest in others.
12-Faith and gratitude will replace fear as we realize that a Greater Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
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