Step 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. This is ongoing and never ending so immediately I take a sheet of paper and on the left I write something I like or that is favourable about me and on the right, something I do not like about me. I continue until no more favourable things come to mind. I discuss anything that brings heavy emotional response with a trusted STEPPER who will only listen and encourage me. No advice, suggestion, unsolicited info of any kind will be acceptable while I am sharing my inventory item. I decide to believe that my Power (God) is in charge because I turned everything over to him/her in step 3 and I am told the answers are spiritual. I will work on step 4 with different groups throughout April as this is the format for many 12 step programs (work the corresponding steps 1-12 in the corresponding months Jan-Dec, therefore 4th month April means Step 4). So I have taken Step 4 to the best of my ability for now and I will prepare my thoughts to soon take Step 5 where again I will share in a safe environment with no unsolicited feedback, knowing that the spiritual aspect will guide us both. Yes I am running through these steps quickly so that I can see (glimpse) the whole program and get that spiritual connection that will later undergird and support me in the deeper probing of me and my whole life.

Personal thought from AM readings today where a favourite writer said "life is on the move and you are stuck, life flows, is free and flexible and carries all things away and you crave for stability and permanence. When you cling to nothing, have no fear of losing anything, then you are free to flow like the mountain stream that is always fresh and sparkling and alive." BEWARE OF RULES, STRUCTURE AND OTHER PEOPLE'S IDEAS AND WAYS, LEST THEY REALLY BE TEACHING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE THEM HAPPY. CONTROL IS A MAJOR ENEMY AND ITS POWER LIES IN THE HAND OF THE LENDER OR GIVER OF IT. I believe freedom exists wherever we do not exert control and it is a spiritual gift available to the degree that I do not force it!

Step 5 awaits me now so I will spend time talking and writing all aspects of 2-way conversation with my Spiritual Power (God). The more I communicate, the better I come to know my most important friend