Stay imprisoned or amend?Extreme question, perhaps so, yet I believe that every unfinished situation that involves discomfort, requires amending of some kind. Examples:
-Repeated disappointments in a relationship, e.g. planned visits, outings, get-togethers, etc that regularly do not happen (an amend to this relationship is urgent)
2-I hear a name and there is immediately emotional sensations (amend the thing-a discussion with the person or a trusted friend is required-DO IT!)
3-Do I realize that anyone (idea or situation as well) who (that) creates emotion in me, has control over me. We don't have much to control at best (powerlessness in step 1 teaches us this), however, we seem so ready to give what we do have to those we give head space to. Think of anything yet that needs amending? There are countless examples in any life and they paralyze us.
As though imprisoned of our own accord we go about life STUCK! One answer is always DETACHMENT but if the relationship or situation is to stay, then something needs amending and likely a new format(boundaries-consequences etc).
From the Back To Basics program www.AABackToBasics.com we find another solution, I call it service. Quote "second only to our relationship with God, the establishment of balanced interpersonal relationships is the highest priority for recovery. If we are not at peace with our fellows, we will not be at peace with ourselves." And again "Step 9 emphasizes the giving of amends to others as a corrective balance against the self-centredness of our old relationship patterns". The writer references Romans 15:2 "..2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."
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